The Breach in His Heart
by Deadly Haven
Summary: Anders has nothing. He had given up everything the day he destroyed the Chantry: his home, his friends, and her. It's been three years and his heart still yearns for her, but when the Breach appears and it seems that all is over, will she appear before him again?
1. His Angel

It had been three years since Anders had last seen her, and one year since the Circles collapsed.

He had left Kirkwall shortly after dealing with Meredith. He and some others had managed to escape on a ship. Though it felt like it was just the three of them. It had felt like Fenris, Hawke and he were the only ones on that ship. When he saw her sleeping, her head resting on the elf's shoulder, it drove him mad. Hawke was a better woman than Anders deserved; he knew that. He had betrayed her trust, and if he had been with her he would only have broken her heart. But Fenris? A mage-hating elf who despised everything for which Anders stood? Everything that Hawke was? Fenris was detestable, and definitely didn't deserve someone as pure as Hawke. Yet for some reason, she loved him, and for Anders, that was more painful than his unrequited love alone.

Anders hadn't stayed in any one place for too long, staying in a town for a few months at most. He had just left a town a week prior and was now skirting northern Ferelden. He had failed to ration his supplies properly, and had run out of food a few days ago. Now he was moving forward on willpower alone. He stepped on a small branch, breaking it in two, but instead of the small snapping of wood, a large sound like the crushing of bones boomed through the forest. You could almost feel it in the air.

He looked towards the sky, where the sound had come from, and saw a tear that glowed green. Not the friendly green of the forest he was walking through, but an eerie green that reminded him of the Fade. It leaked magic that he could feel run into his very core, stirring Justice. The magic materialized, and demons began springing up in the forest. It wasn't long before he found himself surrounded. However, he was weak from lack of sleep and hunger, and even Justice's power wasn't enough. It was only a few minutes before the demons began to overpower him, and he was knocked to the ground, bleeding from his wounds. There was a bright, blinding light, and then silence.

He lay under the shade of a tree, and a figure appeared before him. She stood above him, and the sunlight that poked through the leaves of the tree haloed her. Her red hair blew in the wind, and her light blue, almost-white eyes stared at him calmly.

"Anders?"

He smiled at his angel. If anyone were to lead Anders to the afterlife, he was glad it was her: the woman he loved.

"Anders, I am here."

He closed his eyes, happy that he had gotten to see her one last time.

* * *

His nose twitched when he felt a fur tail brush up against him.

Ser Pounce-A-Lot?

He opened his eyes and saw that there was indeed a cat walking alongside the bed he was laying on, but alas, it was not his cat. Instead it was a black cat with white mittens for paws.

It was then that he actually registered that he was lying on a small bed instead of on the hard, forest ground. He was in a small hut that probably couldn't even fit in another bed, and after giving it another take he noticed a woman sitting at a desk, writing something. It was her. His angel. The same wavy, red hair, olive skin and small physique. Only now it was just the two of them (well, unless you counted the cat, that is). No detestable elf to keep them apart, and Anders felt a warmth in his heart that he hadn't in years. It was as if everything in the world was as it should be. He never thought he would feel this way again. He sat up from the bed, and the sound of his movement caught her attention. She looked at him with those whitish-blue eyes that had always captivated him and made his heart squeeze.

"Anders? You're awake."

His smile vanished. This voice was one he didn't recognize. It wasn't the one that he had longed to hear ever since they had parted ways, and when he got a better look at the person in front of him he realized it wasn't the woman he had dreamt of every night for the past three years.

"You're not…" His voice trailed off. "Who are you?"

"Ah, so I was right. It _is_ you. I guess it's understandable that you wouldn't recognize me after all this time."

But he had recognized her, though as someone else. Someone far from his reach.

"My name is Solona."

* * *

 **A/N: There are a few things that have always interested me: Hawke and Amell being second cousins, the potential for Anders and Amell's relationship, and the fact that Anders is in love with a friendly Hawke, even if they romance someone else (the love triangle between Hawke, Fenris and Anders gives me life because I'm total shipping trash).**

 **As I'm interested in these three points, I've had this scenario stuck in my head as of late, and I wanted to get it out of my system by writing it down. It didn't end up quite how I wanted it to (mainly that I wanted to put in the cat's name, but I couldn't find an appropriate place for it). Regardless, I figured I might as well share it anyway.**

 **This isn't really meant to be a full story, hence the lack of conclusion. It's kind of like the first chapter of a story that leaves off on a bit of a cliffhanger, and what comes next is left up to your imagination. I might add more depending on feedback, but I'll probably just leave it as it is and mark it as complete for now.**


	2. Forever Friends

He had only ever seen Hawke cry twice. The first time was when her mother died. She had held her mother's mutilated body in her arms and wept. How he had wanted to embrace her and console her at that time, but it was Fenris who she had needed at her side during her period of grief. Despite the fact that the miserable elf had broken her heart not long before, she still wanted him with her.

The second time he saw her cry, he had wanted to hold her close just like before, but he couldn't because this time he was the one responsible for her tears. The templars had all reconvened after what had happened, likely in an attempt to salvage whatever was left of their order. Carver, driven by duty, left with them, his only goodbye to his sister being a solemn but knowing look and a nod. Not long after, Hawke told her friends that she needed to leave Kirkwall. With a pained expression, she had to say goodbye to each of them. Still, she managed to hold back her tears. Until she got to Varric. When she looked him in the eyes she broke down, falling to her knees and sobbing.

The dwarf smiled sadly and wrapped his arms around her. "Hey now, don't cry," he said, his own voice tight as he gently patted her back. "How am I supposed to make your escape from Kirkwall sound gallant and daring if you're crying?"

Fenris had hurt Hawke once. He had broken her heart, and Anders had vowed that he would never forgive that man for hurting her. Though when he saw Hawke crying in Varric's arms, Anders knew that he had hurt her more than Fenris ever could have.

The last words the elf had said to him were, "If you ever come near her again, I'll kill you."

It was foolish of Anders to think that Hawke would ever come back for him.

"You don't remember me, then?" Solona asked, snapping Anders back to reality.

"What? No," he said. "I think I remember now. You're the one who helped a blood mage escape the Tower."

"I don't regret it."

"You don't regret helping a _blood mage?_ "

"I didn't know he was a blood mage," she argued. "He wanted to escape the Tower with his lover; he wanted to be able to protect her, so he did something stupid. I didn't know. All he told me was that they were thinking of making him Tranquil, and I couldn't let that happen. Not to my best friend. We all ended up paying for his mistakes, anyway."

"All of you?"

"Yes. You see, Jowan—" Her cat meowed. "No, not you, the other Jowan," she said, shushing the feline. "Jowan and I always used to meet in the Fade. It wasn't like we planned it or anything, but whenever we fell asleep we'd find each other there. It's like it was fate telling us that we were supposed to be important to each other. Even after Jowan escaped, I would see him in my dreams, no matter how hard he tried to avoid me. Then one day he just stopped showing up. ...I pray they killed him. He was always terrified of the idea of becoming Tranquil. Death would have been a mercy.  
"Lily was sent to Aeonar. After the templars took her away, I never saw her again after that. Then the templars had to make sure I wasn't a blood mage, too, before deciding on my punishment."

"And then what happend?" he asked. She hadn't been made Tranquil, so where had that left her?

Solona slowly stood up and turned around, undoing the buttons on the back of her dress. Anders' first instinct was to look away, but curiosity brought his eyes back on her. She parted the fabric to show her back, covered in scars caused by countless lashes. As if she could feel his eyes on her, she answered his unspoken question as she rebuttoned her dress. "Aeonar."

At first he was shocked, but that shock quickly turned into anger. This. This was why he did it. This was why he'd had to spur the mages into rebellion. This was why he'd been forced to do what he did back in Kirkwall.

"Believe it or not, the only reason I got out was because Darkspawn had overrun the tower. I mean, not completely. It was a small breach, but one that managed to knock down the wall in my cell. I froze one or two Darkspawn with what little strength I had left, and ran. My phylactery was in Denerim, and it was likely destroyed during the Battle. It's funny, isn't it? That the Blight saved me?"

Anders looked at her smile, but he saw how weary she looked. As if she were exhausted just from telling the story.

"So I guess what I'm saying is, I get it. You did what you had to do."

That's when he realized that she truly knew who he was. She knew _exactly_ who he was.

* * *

 **A/N: No guarantee I'll finish this story. It's marked as complete because each chapter could be the last one I write. I'm sort of just doing this to get ideas out of my head.**


End file.
